Pumpkins are more than just big, round veggies. They bring fun, laughter, and a whole lot of silly jokes. From pumpkin patches to Halloween nights, these bright orange gourds are everywhere. And guess what? They make the perfect topic for some seriously funny jokes. If you love carving jack-o’-lanterns or just enjoy a good laugh, pumpkin jokes will keep you smiling all season long.
This collection of pumpkin jokes will squash boredom and bring on the giggles. There are jokes for kids, jokes that dads will love, and even some spooky ones for Halloween. So grab your favorite pumpkin treat, sit back, and get ready to laugh. These jokes are packed with puns, surprises, and plenty of gourd humor!
Pumpkin Jokes for Kids That Are Gourd-geously Funny
Why did the pumpkin sit in time-out?
It was acting a little seedy.
How do pumpkins talk to each other?
Through vine messages.
What’s a pumpkin’s favorite sport?
Squash!
Why did the pumpkin blush?
Because it saw the pie with no crust on.
What do you call a pumpkin who tells tall tales?
A squash-stretcher.
Why did the little pumpkin cross the road?
To get to the other patch.
What’s a ghost’s favorite kind of pumpkin?
A boo-berry one.
Why did the pumpkin stay home from school?
It felt hollow inside.
What did the little pumpkin say to the big pumpkin?
You’re gourd-geous!
Why don’t pumpkins ever do well in school?
Because they always get smashed on test day.
What’s a pumpkin’s favorite subject?
Pump-kin-dergarten!
Why did the pumpkin refuse to play hide-and-seek?
Because it always got picked.
What do pumpkins wear when they work out?
Squash pants.
What do you call a pumpkin that can fix things?
A handypump.
Why do pumpkins love scary movies?
Because they can handle a little squash!
What’s a pumpkin’s favorite snack?
Pumpcorn.
Why was the baby pumpkin so happy?
Because its mom was the pick of the patch.
What do you call a pumpkin that loves the beach?
A sand-gourd.
Why did the pumpkin go to the doctor?
It wasn’t filling well.
How do pumpkins get around town?
In a gourd-mobile.
What do you call a pumpkin who’s good at karate?
A squash-buckler.
Why do pumpkins never get lost?
They just follow the vine.
What did one pumpkin say to the other when it told a joke?
Oh my gourd, that was funny!
Why do pumpkins make great friends?
Because they always have your back in a jam.
Spicy & Silly: Pumpkin Spice Jokes to Make You LOL
Why did the pumpkin spice latte go to therapy?
It had too many mixed emotions.
Pumpkin spice is like Wi-Fi in the fall.
You can find it everywhere, and everyone complains when it’s gone.
Why don’t pumpkins ever get into arguments?
They just let things spice over.
What’s a pumpkin spice latte’s favorite type of music?
Anything with a latte beats.
Why did the pumpkin spice candle refuse to light?
It had a wick-ed attitude.
Pumpkin spice lattes are like old friends.
Warm, comforting, and always a little extra.
What’s a pumpkin’s favorite pick-up line?
You’re looking gourd-geous today.
Why did the pumpkin spice muffin blush?
It saw the cinnamon roll.
Pumpkin spice season is like my diet.
It starts strong but ends in disaster.
Why do pumpkins make great comedians?
They’ve got all the right spices for humor.
What do you call a pumpkin that tells bad jokes?
A spice-aster.
I tried to quit pumpkin spice.
But I just couldn’t espresso myself without it.
Why do pumpkins always look surprised?
Because they just got spiced up.
What’s a pumpkin’s favorite movie?
Spice Age.
Why did the pumpkin spice latte fail the test?
It was too basic.
Pumpkin spice is like a good friend.
Always there when you need it… for three months a year.
What did the barista say to the pumpkin spice latte?
You’re brewing up some fall magic.
Why do pumpkins never get cold?
They’ve got all the spice to keep them warm.
I told my friend I was giving up pumpkin spice.
They said, “Don’t chai that again.”
Pumpkin spice lattes and sweaters have something in common.
They both hug you in all the right places.
What’s a pumpkin’s favorite workout?
Squash and spice.
Why do pumpkins make terrible secret agents?
They always spill the spice.
I bought a pumpkin spice candle.
Now my house smells like Instagram.
Pumpkin spice season is just like my ex.
It disappears when it gets too cold.
Slice Up Some Laughs with These Pumpkin Pie Jokes
Why was the pumpkin pie always invited to parties?
It was the sweetest one there.
What’s a pumpkin pie’s least favorite sport?
Pie-lates.
Why do pumpkins never get lost?
They just follow the pie-crumb trail.
What did the pumpkin pie say to the apple pie?
You crust me, right?
Pumpkin pie is like a warm hug.
But with extra whipped cream.
Why did the pumpkin pie break up with the pecan pie?
It needed space to roll.
What’s a pumpkin pie’s favorite genre of music?
Anything with a good filling.
Why don’t pumpkin pies ever tell secrets?
Because they always get eaten up.
What’s a pumpkin pie’s favorite social media app?
Snap-pea chat.
Why did the pumpkin pie go to the doctor?
It was feeling a little crusty.
What do you call a pumpkin pie who wins every contest?
The pie-oneer.
Pumpkin pies make the best therapists.
They always know how to make things sweeter.
What do you say to a pumpkin pie before eating it?
I’m sorry, but you’re just too good to resist.
Why did the pumpkin pie refuse to share?
Because it was a little flaky.
What do you call a pumpkin pie that can sing?
A sweet melody.
Why don’t pumpkin pies work out?
They’re already in great shape.
What’s a pumpkin pie’s favorite subject in school?
Home crust-economics.
I tried to bake a pumpkin pie, but I failed.
Turns out, I just wasn’t cut out for it.
Why do pumpkin pies never get nervous?
They always stay cool under pressure.
What do you call a pumpkin pie who’s always on time?
Punctu-pie-l.
Why did the pumpkin pie make a terrible detective?
It always got eaten before it could solve the case.
Pumpkin pie is proof that some things get better with age.
Like leftovers the next day.
What did one pumpkin pie say to the other?
Stop flaking out on me.
Patch Things Up with These Pumpkin Patch Jokes
Why did the pumpkin patch throw a party?
Because it was time to squash the drama.
What do you call a pumpkin patch that loves to gossip?
A vine network.
Why do pumpkin patches make great places for dates?
Because love is always in the air.
What happened when the pumpkin got lost in the patch?
It turned into a pumpkin-spy.
Why did the scarecrow get kicked out of the pumpkin patch?
It was just too corny.
What’s a pumpkin patch’s favorite TV show?
Squash-ed.
Why did the pumpkin patch break up?
Too many vines in the relationship.
What do you call a messy pumpkin patch?
A squash-tastrophe.
I went to a pumpkin patch to find myself.
Instead, I found a pumpkin that looked like me.
What’s a pumpkin patch’s favorite dance move?
The vine swing.
Why don’t pumpkins ever get into fights?
Because they know how to squash their beef.
What do you call a pumpkin patch full of funny pumpkins?
A laugh-gourd-en.
Why do pumpkin patches love Halloween?
It’s their time to shine.
I took my dog to the pumpkin patch.
Now he thinks he’s a gourd retriever.
Why was the pumpkin patch so peaceful?
Because it had no bad seeds.
Pumpkin patches are just like good friends.
They always have your back when things get rough.
What’s a pumpkin patch’s favorite workout?
Vine-yasa yoga.
Why did the pumpkin refuse to leave the patch?
It was too rooted in its ways.
What’s a pumpkin’s favorite place to relax?
The chill patch.
Why don’t pumpkins make good secret agents?
They always spill the seeds.
Pumpkin patches are magical places.
You go in empty-handed and leave with your arms full.
What’s a pumpkin patch’s favorite hobby?
Gourd-tening.
Why did the pumpkin patch go viral?
Because it had the best pumpkin influencers.
Hilarious Short Pumpkin Jokes for Grown-Ups
How do pumpkins stay in shape?
They do a lot of squashing.
What do pumpkins say when they’re in trouble?
“Help! I’m in a jam!”
Why do pumpkins make terrible detectives?
They always get picked too early.
What’s a pumpkin’s favorite part of a movie?
The gourd part, obviously.
Why did the pumpkin go to therapy?
It had some serious emotional baggage.
Why did the pumpkin break up with the squash?
It just couldn’t handle the pressure.
What’s a pumpkin’s least favorite word?
“Squashed.”
What did the pumpkin say when it saw the creepy ghost?
“Stop haunting me!”
Why don’t pumpkins ever gossip?
Because they don’t like getting their seeds spilled.
What do you call a pumpkin that tells bad jokes?
A gourd-normous disaster.
Why don’t pumpkins like shopping?
They always end up in the pie aisle.
How did the pumpkin express its feelings?
It carved them into its face.
What’s a pumpkin’s favorite restaurant?
The Dine.
Why do pumpkins hate math?
They can’t handle the squash roots.
What do pumpkins do at Halloween parties?
They light up the room.
What’s a pumpkin’s favorite type of car?
A gourd-mobile.
Why did the pumpkin sit in the sun?
It wanted to get a tan for Halloween.
Why do pumpkins make bad partners?
They always squash the romance.
What’s a pumpkin’s favorite exercise?
Squash-ups.
Why was the pumpkin so calm?
It had its seeds under control.
What did the pumpkin say when it didn’t want to share?
“Get your own gourd!”
What did the pumpkin do at the comedy show?
It cracked up—literally!
Why did the pumpkin wear a sweater?
To avoid getting too roasted.
What’s a pumpkin’s biggest fear?
Ending up as pie before its time.
Why did the pumpkin tell everyone to “leaf” it alone?
It was in the middle of a seed crisis.
What’s a pumpkin’s favorite kind of music?
Anything that’s a little “spicy.”
Why did the pumpkin fail the quiz?
It didn’t have the right answers… just a lot of seeds.
What do you call a pumpkin who loves to read?
A well-seeded scholar.
Why did the pumpkin move to the city?
To get away from the country vines.
Dad-Level Corny: The Best Pumpkin Dad Jokes Ever
Why did the pumpkin start a podcast?
It had a lot of gourd content.
What’s a pumpkin’s favorite way to relax?
By chilling in the patch.
Why did the pumpkin get promoted?
Because it was outstanding in its field.
What do you call a pumpkin comedian?
A pun-kin.
Why did the pumpkin bring a ladder to the bar?
It heard the drinks were on the house.
I asked my pumpkin if it wanted to go out.
It said, “Nah, I’m grounded.”
Why do pumpkins love bad jokes?
Because they’re a little corny.
What did the pumpkin say to the Thanksgiving turkey?
You think you’ve got it bad?
Why did the pumpkin break up with the zucchini?
It felt too squashed.
I tried to carve a joke into my pumpkin.
But it didn’t make the cut.
Why did the pumpkin join the orchestra?
It had great gourd-nation.
Why did the pumpkin refuse to fight?
It didn’t want to squash the fun.
What’s a pumpkin’s least favorite weather?
Stormy gourd-casts.
I told my pumpkin a secret.
Now it’s a little hollow inside.
What did the pumpkin say after a long day?
I’m totally gourd-out.
Why do pumpkins never win races?
Because they always roll over.
I told my pumpkin a joke, and it cracked up.
Now I have to get a new one.
Why do pumpkins make terrible stand-up comedians?
Because they always get roasted.
What’s a pumpkin’s favorite type of investment?
Pump-stocks.
Why did the pumpkin sit outside all night?
It wanted to be outstanding in its field.
I told my pumpkin a dad joke.
It said, “Oh gourd, not again.”
Why did the pumpkin refuse to join the band?
It didn’t want to get squashed in the crowd.
What do you call a pumpkin who won’t stop talking?
A gourd-motormouth.
Pumpkin pie told me a joke.
It was sweet, but a little flaky.
Halloween Pumpkin Jokes That Are Scary Funny
Why don’t pumpkins tell scary stories?
They don’t want to squash anyone’s fun.
What did the vampire pumpkin say to the regular pumpkin?
You look a little pale.
Why do jack-o’-lanterns always go to Halloween parties?
Because they know how to light up the room.
What’s a pumpkin’s favorite type of ghost?
A boo-tiful one.
Why did the witch refuse to use a pumpkin for her spell?
Because it was already cursed!
What’s a skeleton’s favorite kind of pumpkin?
A hollow one.
Why don’t mummies like pumpkins?
Because they already have too many wraps.
What do you call a pumpkin that’s afraid of everything?
A scaredy-gourd.
Why did the zombie refuse the pumpkin soup?
Not enough brains.
What’s a jack-o’-lantern’s favorite superhero?
The Gourdian of the Galaxy.
Why was the pumpkin haunted?
Because it had too many spirits inside.
What do you call a pumpkin who loves tricks more than treats?
A prank-o’-lantern.
Why do ghosts love pumpkins?
Because they’re gourd-eous on the inside.
What did the pumpkin say to the ghost?
You don’t scare me, I’m already carved!
Why do pumpkins make terrible vampires?
They don’t have the stomach for it.
What do skeletons use to carve pumpkins?
Their bare bones.
Why did the pumpkin cross the road on Halloween?
To get to the haunted house.
What’s a jack-o’-lantern’s favorite dance move?
The pumpkin twist.
Why did the werewolf refuse to eat the pumpkin?
Because it wasn’t meaty enough.
What’s a vampire’s favorite way to eat pumpkin?
With a little bite.
Why don’t pumpkins ever win Halloween costume contests?
Because they’re always themselves.
What do you call a pumpkin that’s been sitting out too long?
A mush-terpiece.
Why do ghosts and pumpkins get along?
They both love hanging out in the dark.
What’s the scariest thing about a pumpkin on Halloween?
Its dentist bill the next day!
Conclusion
Pumpkin jokes make any day brighter and sillier. They bring laughs at Halloween, family dinners, or even just a cozy night with pumpkin pie. No matter your age, a good pumpkin joke can light up your day, just like a jack-o’-lantern! Keep sharing these jokes with friends, family, and anyone who needs a little extra joy. After all, laughter is the best way to squash boredom!
