Hey there, little friends! Are you ready to giggle with some silly zombie puns and jokes? Zombies might sound spooky, but they’re really just funny folks who love a good laugh. Imagine them shuffling around, telling jokes that make your belly shake like jelly. We’ve got a big bunch of goofy puns and silly sayings you can enjoy. These jokes are easy to read and super fun, perfect for sharing with pals or giggling all by yourself!
Zombies don’t just groan. They’ve got a playful side too! If it’s Halloween or just a sunny day, these jokes will tickle your funny bone. From baby zombies munching mashed brains to zombie dads cracking corny lines, there’s something here to make everyone smile. So, grab your favorite snack, maybe not brains, and let’s dive into some zombie fun that’s sure to keep you laughing all day long.
Clever Zombie Puns That Won’t Rot Your Brain
If you love puns and want to keep your brain intact (or maybe just rotting a little), these zombie wordplays will keep you laughing!
Why do zombies make great accountants?
Because they’re always keeping track of their “dead”lines.
What’s a zombie’s favorite game?
Hide and shriek.
Why are zombies bad at lying?
You can see right through their decayed faces.
What do zombies call their best friends?
Their grave-mates.
Why do zombies love a good deal?
They’re always looking for a “steal” of a meal.
What’s a zombie’s favorite subject in school?
DeCAF, because they love anything deCAF!
Why don’t zombies use smartphones?
They prefer to communicate with groans.
What do zombies do at the gym?
They work on their “dead”lifts.
Why are zombies so calm?
They’ve got no brains to stress them out.
What’s a zombie’s favorite dessert?
Brain-freeze ice cream.
Why do zombies avoid the beach?
They don’t want to get sand in their stitches.
What’s a zombie’s favorite hobby?
Collecting rare “body” parts.
Why are zombies bad at chess?
They keep trying to eat the knights.
What do zombies write in their journals?
Their deepest, darkest “guts.”
Why do zombies love old movies?
They’re into anything “classic” and decayed.
What’s a zombie’s favorite weather?
Fog, because it’s nice and eerie.
Why don’t zombies argue?
They just moan and move on.
What do zombies call a bad day?
A real “grave” mistake.
Why are zombies great at recycling?
They reuse every part of themselves.
What’s a zombie’s favorite flower?
A marigold, because it’s practically “mold.”
Why do zombies love puzzles?
They’re good at piecing things together, like limbs.
What’s a zombie’s favorite snack?
Popped “corn” brains.
Why don’t zombies get lost?
They always follow their noses to the nearest human.
What do zombies call their leaders?
The head honchos, literally.
Why are zombies so patient?
They’ve got all eternity to wait.
What’s a zombie’s favorite joke?
One that’s drop-dead clever.
Undead Puns That Will Bring Your Humor Back to Life
The undead might not have much to say, but when they do, it’s all puns! Get ready for some gut-busting (literally) wordplay.
Why do zombies love a good chase?
It gets their blood pumping, even if it’s not theirs.
What’s a zombie’s favorite fruit?
A “rotten” apple.
Why are zombies bad at singing?
Their voices are too “ghoul-ish.”
What do zombies do on vacation?
They visit the “dead” sea.
Why don’t zombies use GPS?
They prefer to wander aimlessly.
What’s a zombie’s favorite book?
Anything with a lot of “bite.”
Why do zombies love thrift stores?
They’re into “pre-loved” clothes.
What do zombies call their shoes?
Their sole survivors.
Why are zombies bad at math?
They keep eating the numbers.
What’s a zombie’s favorite animal?
A “dead”icated dog.
Why do zombies avoid mirrors?
They don’t want to see their “flesh” face.
What do zombies do at parties?
They just shuffle around.
Why are zombies great at hide and seek?
They blend into the shadows.
What’s a zombie’s favorite vegetable?
Cauliflower, because it looks like brains.
Why do zombies love history?
They relate to ancient ruins.
What do zombies call their kids?
Little “ghouls.”
Why don’t zombies play cards?
They’d eat the deck.
What’s a zombie’s favorite holiday?
All Hallows’ Eve, of course.
Why are zombies bad at painting?
They smear everything with grime.
What do zombies call a sunny day?
A real pain in the neck.
Why do zombies love mazes?
They’re great at stumbling through them.
What’s a zombie’s favorite toy?
A “creepy” crawler.
Why don’t zombies get tired?
They’re powered by pure hunger.
What do zombies call their home?
The crypt-keeper’s cottage.
Why are zombies bad at jokes?
Their delivery is too “stiff.”
What’s a zombie’s favorite smell?
The scent of fresh fear.
Why do zombies love the dark?
It’s where they feel alive.
Hilarious Zombie Jokes to Tickle Your Funny Bone
Zombies might be slow, but their jokes come fast! Get ready to crack up with these undead-approved funnies.
Why did the zombie go to school?
To improve its “brain” power.
What do zombies eat for breakfast?
Cereal with deCAF milk.
Why don’t zombies use umbrellas?
They like to get wet and moldy.
What’s a zombie’s favorite sport?
Track, because they love a good chase.
Why did the zombie join a book club?
It wanted to “devour” new stories.
What do zombies call their pets?
Their “undead” buddies.
Why are zombies bad at cooking?
They keep nibbling the ingredients.
What’s a zombie’s favorite candy?
Gummy worms, for obvious reasons.
Why don’t zombies use computers?
They’d eat the “byte.”
What do zombies do on weekends?
They go for a “stroll” in the graveyard.
Why did the zombie visit the doctor?
It had a bad case of the “moans.”
What’s a zombie’s favorite instrument?
The “tomb” bone.
Why are zombies bad at teamwork?
They’re too busy biting each other.
What do zombies call a full moon?
A perfect night for a prowl.
Why don’t zombies wear hats?
They prefer to air out their scalps.
What’s a zombie’s favorite drink?
A “bloody” smoothie.
Why did the zombie get a job?
To earn some extra “flesh.”
What do zombies call their cars?
Their “hearse” mobiles.
Why are zombies bad at writing?
Their hands are too shaky.
What’s a zombie’s favorite tree?
A “yew,” because it’s spooky.
Why don’t zombies play tag?
They’d eat the runner.
What do zombies call their neighbors?
Their next-door snacks.
Why did the zombie go to the zoo?
To see the “wild” brains.
What’s a zombie’s favorite season?
Fall, because everything’s decaying.
Why are zombies bad at cleaning?
They just spread the dirt around.
Short and Silly Zombie Jokes for Kids
Zombies don’t just scare people—they also love a good giggle! Here are some simple and goofy jokes perfect for kids (and kids at heart).
Why did the zombie go to bed?
It was “dead” tired.
What’s a zombie’s favorite toy?
A bouncy “brain” ball.
Why don’t zombies eat fast food?
It’s not fresh enough.
What do zombies wear to school?
Their “tattered” uniforms.
Why did the zombie laugh?
It heard a “grave” joke.
What’s a zombie’s favorite color?
Green, like mold.
Why don’t zombies use pencils?
They break them with their claws.
What do zombies call their teachers?
Brain trainers.
Why did the zombie chase its tail?
It thought it was lunch.
What’s a zombie’s favorite snack?
Crisp “skin” chips.
Why don’t zombies ride bikes?
They’d fall apart.
What do zombies call their games?
Fun and “ghoul”s.
Why did the zombie visit the park?
To swing on the “creaky” swings.
What’s a zombie’s favorite fruit?
A “plum” of a brain.
Why don’t zombies play soccer?
They’d eat the ball.
What do zombies call their beds?
Coffin comfies.
Why did the zombie wave?
It saw a tasty friend.
What’s a zombie’s favorite shape?
A “hex”agon, for spookiness.
Why don’t zombies use crayons?
They’d chew them up.
What do zombies call their snacks?
Bite-sized bits.
Why did the zombie smile?
It found a new “chomp”ion.
What’s a zombie’s favorite place?
The “spooky” playground.
Why don’t zombies hug?
They’d lose an arm.
What do zombies call their shoes?
Their “stompers.”
Why did the zombie sit alone?
It didn’t want to share its lunch.
Silly and Scary Zombie Puns for Halloween and Beyond
Get ready to giggle and shiver with these silly and scary zombie puns—perfect for Halloween or anytime you need to add a little frightful fun!
Why do zombies love Halloween?
It’s their time to shine, or at least groan.
What’s a zombie’s favorite costume?
A “torn” superhero cape.
Why don’t zombies use flashlights?
They like to lurk in the dark.
What do zombies call trick-or-treat?
Brain-or-treat.
Why are zombies bad at carving pumpkins?
They eat the insides first.
What’s a zombie’s favorite spooky story?
One with a lot of “gore.”
Why do zombies love haunted houses?
They feel right at home.
What do zombies call their candy?
Their “sweet” loot.
Why don’t zombies wear masks?
Their faces are scary enough.
What’s a zombie’s favorite lantern?
A “ghoul”den glow.
Why do zombies love fog machines?
They add to the creep factor.
What do zombies call their decorations?
Their “crypt” crafts.
Why don’t zombies bob for apples?
They’d bite the bucket.
What’s a zombie’s favorite treat?
A “chilling” popsicle.
Why do zombies love graveyards?
It’s their “home” turf.
What do zombies call their pumpkins?
Jack-o’-“brains.”
Why don’t zombies use candles?
They’d eat the wax.
What’s a zombie’s favorite game at Halloween?
Pin the tail on the ghoul.
Why do zombies love spooky music?
It gets their bones rattling.
What do zombies call their parties?
Fright fests.
Why don’t zombies wear costumes?
They’re already “dressed” to scare.
What’s a zombie’s favorite prank?
Popping out of a coffin.
Why do zombies love October?
It’s the “spookiest” month.
What do zombies call their brooms?
Their “sweepers” of doom.
Why don’t zombies eat candy corn?
They prefer real “corn”ers.
What’s a zombie’s favorite dance?
The “stumble” shuffle.
Why do zombies love scary movies?
They root for the monsters.
What do zombies call their lights?
Their “eerie” glows.
Zombie Dad Jokes That Are Drop-Dead Funny
Dad jokes never die—just like zombies! These groan-worthy undead puns will have you rolling your eyes and laughing at the same time.
Why did the zombie become a dad?
He wanted to raise the dead!
Why did the zombie become a comedian?
It had a “killer” sense of humor.
What do zombies call their laundry?
Their “tattered” threads.
Why don’t zombies use forks?
They prefer to dig in with their hands.
What’s a zombie’s favorite chore?
Sweeping the crypt.
Why did the zombie buy a car?
To cruise the “dead” end.
What do zombies call their naps?
Their “coffin” breaks.
Why don’t zombies use clocks?
Time’s irrelevant when you’re eternal.
What’s a zombie’s favorite meal?
A “hearty” stew.
Why did the zombie go to the store?
To grab some “fresh” supplies.
What do zombies call their jokes?
Their “groan”ers.
Why don’t zombies vacuum?
They like the dust bunnies.
What’s a zombie’s favorite chair?
A “creaky” rocker.
Why did the zombie plant a garden?
To grow some “moldy” veggies.
What do zombies call their wallets?
Their “crypt” cash.
Why don’t zombies use ovens?
They like their food raw.
What’s a zombie’s favorite road?
The “bumpy” path.
Why did the zombie get glasses?
To spot brains from afar.
What do zombies call their socks?
Their “holey” foot warmers.
Why don’t zombies mow the lawn?
They like it wild and weedy.
What’s a zombie’s favorite drink?
A “muddy” shake.
Why did the zombie fix the fence?
To keep the snacks in.
What do zombies call their hats?
Their “skull” caps.
Why don’t zombies use phones?
They prefer face-to-face munching.
What’s a zombie’s favorite tool?
A “rusty” shovel.
Why did the zombie paint the house?
To make it “ghoul”ish gray.
Apocalypse Jokes to Keep You Laughing Till the End
The world might be ending, but that doesn’t mean we can’t have a little fun! Here are some survival-approved jokes to lighten the mood.
Why don’t zombies panic in the apocalypse?
They’re already “dead” calm.
What do zombies call the end of the world?
A “feast”ival.
Why did the zombie stockpile food?
To save some “brains” for later.
What’s a zombie’s favorite apocalypse vehicle?
A “doom” buggy.
Why don’t zombies use maps in the end times?
They just follow the screams.
What do zombies call their shelters?
Their “bunker” buffets.
Why did the zombie build a fort?
To protect its “stash” of snacks.
What’s a zombie’s favorite apocalypse song?
A “groan”ing ballad.
Why don’t zombies care about storms?
They’re used to rough weather.
What do zombies call their weapons?
Their “chomp” sticks.
Why did the zombie hoard candles?
To light up the “eerie” nights.
What’s a zombie’s favorite apocalypse food?
Canned “brains.”
Why don’t zombies use radios?
They prefer to howl for help.
What do zombies call their plans?
Their “doom”sday strategies.
Why did the zombie climb a tower?
To spot the next meal.
What’s a zombie’s favorite apocalypse game?
Survival of the “dead”est.
Why don’t zombies wear armor?
They’re already falling apart.
What do zombies call their groups?
Their “horde” of pals.
Why did the zombie cross the wasteland?
To munch on the other side.
What’s a zombie’s favorite apocalypse tool?
A “crusty” crowbar.
Why don’t zombies sleep in the end times?
They’re too busy prowling.
What do zombies call their fires?
Their “blazing” beacons.
Why did the zombie save scraps?
To build a “ghoul”ish throne.
What’s a zombie’s favorite apocalypse view?
A “ruined” sunset.
Why don’t zombies fear the dark?
It’s their favorite hunting ground.
What do zombies call their bikes?
Their “rattle” cycles.
Spooky and Funny Undead Puns for Every Occasion
Get ready to raise the dead with these spooky and funny undead puns! Perfect for all your creepy, groovy moments.
Why do zombies love foggy nights?
It’s perfect for a “creep”y stroll.
What’s a zombie’s favorite breakfast?
“Scrambled” brains.
Why don’t zombies use scissors?
They prefer to tear things apart.
What do zombies call their coats?
Their “shredded” jackets.
Why did the zombie visit the library?
To borrow some “spooky” tales.
What’s a zombie’s favorite gem?
An “onyx,” for its dark vibes.
Why don’t zombies play chess?
They’d eat the pawns.
What do zombies call their boots?
Their “stomp”ers.
Why did the zombie go to the fair?
To ride the “haunted” wheel.
What’s a zombie’s favorite drink?
A “frosty” fright.
Why don’t zombies use blankets?
They like the cold chill.
What do zombies call their bags?
Their “loot” sacks.
Why did the zombie climb a tree?
To get a better “bite.”
What’s a zombie’s favorite bird?
A “raven,” for its spooky caw.
Why don’t zombies wear ties?
They’d get caught on their ribs.
What do zombies call their keys?
Their “crypt” openers.
Why did the zombie visit the museum?
To see the “ancient” bones.
What’s a zombie’s favorite dessert?
A “churned” pudding.
Why don’t zombies use pens?
They’d chew the tips off.
What do zombies call their chairs?
Their “throne” of bones.
Why did the zombie join a choir?
To groan in harmony.
What’s a zombie’s favorite bug?
A “creepy” centipede.
Why don’t zombies use doors?
They prefer to crash through.
What do zombies call their lights?
Their “dim” flickers.
Why did the zombie paint a picture?
To capture its “ghastly” charm.
What’s a zombie’s favorite star?
The “dark” one.
Laugh-Out-Loud Zombie Jokes That Never Die
Get ready for a hearty laugh with these zombie jokes that will live forever in your mind—just like the undead!
Why did the zombie go to the gym?
To work on its “stiff” muscles.
What’s a zombie’s favorite soup?
A “chunky” brain broth.
Why don’t zombies use ladders?
They’d fall through the rungs.
What do zombies call their bikes?
Their “wobbly” wheels.
Why did the zombie visit the farm?
To chase the “fresh” livestock.
What’s a zombie’s favorite game?
“Tag,” but with biting.
Why don’t zombies wear gloves?
They like to feel their prey.
What do zombies call their books?
Their “torn” pages.
Why did the zombie go to the lake?
To splash in the “murky” water.
What’s a zombie’s favorite flower?
A “wilted” rose.
Why don’t zombies use forks?
They’d poke themselves.
What do zombies call their dogs?
Their “growling” guards.
Why did the zombie climb a hill?
To roll down for fun.
What’s a zombie’s favorite snack?
A “crisp” ear.
Why don’t zombies play hide and seek?
They’d eat the seeker.
What do zombies call their coats?
Their “ragged” wraps.
Why did the zombie go to the forest?
To stalk through the “eerie” trees.
What’s a zombie’s favorite drink?
A “slimy” slush.
Why don’t zombies use spoons?
They’d slurp too loudly.
What do zombies call their beds?
Their “resting” slabs.
Why did the zombie visit the city?
To roam the “empty” streets.
What’s a zombie’s favorite fruit?
A “squishy” peach.
Why don’t zombies wear shoes?
They like the “bare” feel.
What do zombies call their hats?
Their “tattered” tops.
Why did the zombie go to the mall?
To window-shop for brains.
What’s a zombie’s favorite weather?
A “gloomy” drizzle.
Why don’t zombies use combs?
Their hair’s too “wild.”
Braindead Humor: The Best Zombie Jokes Ever
Get ready to laugh until your brain falls out (or maybe just rots a little) with these hilarious zombie jokes that will never die!
Why did the zombie go to art class?
To draw a “lifeless” portrait.
What’s a zombie’s favorite veggie?
A “mushy” pea.
Why don’t zombies use knives?
They prefer their teeth.
What do zombies call their bikes?
Their “rickety” rides.
Why did the zombie visit the desert?
To wander the “barren” sands.
What’s a zombie’s favorite toy?
A “jumpy” jack-in-the-box.
Why don’t zombies wear belts?
Their pants are already falling.
What do zombies call their gloves?
Their “claw” covers.
Why did the zombie go to the cave?
To echo its “moans.”
What’s a zombie’s favorite treat?
A “gooey” gummy.
Why don’t zombies use chairs?
They prefer to slump.
What do zombies call their shoes?
Their “shuffling” soles.
Why did the zombie visit the swamp?
To wade in the “mucky” water.
What’s a zombie’s favorite game?
“Catch” the brain.
Why don’t zombies wear socks?
They like their toes “free.”
What do zombies call their bags?
Their “grubby” packs.
Why did the zombie go to the mountain?
To stumble down the “rocky” slopes.
What’s a zombie’s favorite drink?
A “cloudy” brew.
Why don’t zombies use maps?
They’d eat the paper.
What do zombies call their coats?
Their “frayed” layers.
Why did the zombie visit the tower?
To groan from the top.
What’s a zombie’s favorite snack?
A “crumbly” cracker.
Why don’t zombies wear glasses?
They see with their “gut.”
What do zombies call their hats?
Their “crusty” crowns.
Why did the zombie go to the river?
To drift in the “murky” flow.
What’s a zombie’s favorite smell?
The “rotten” breeze.
Why don’t zombies use doors?
They’d break them down.
What do zombies call their lights?
Their “flickering” flames.
Conclusion
That was a fun ride through the land of laughs and zombies, little buddies! These zombie jokes and puns brought the silly and the spooky together just for you! If you liked the puns about dead-lifts or chuckled at zombies chasing chickens, we hope your day feels brighter. Keep these jokes in your pocket to share with friends or family—they’re perfect for a quick laugh anytime. Now, go play, giggle, and maybe even make up your own zombie joke to tell tomorrow!
