Do you love a good scare and a good laugh? You’re in the right place. Some jokes make you giggle, and some send a little chill down your spine. These scary jokes are packed with ghosts, vampires, zombies, and creepy surprises that will make you laugh, shiver, or both. From spooky one-liners to eerie knock-knock jokes, there’s something here for everyone.
Maybe you enjoy telling jokes to friends, or maybe you just want a fun way to spook yourself. Either way, these jokes will bring the right mix of silly and spooky. Some are so bad, they’re scary. Others will make you question if that shadow in the corner just moved. So sit back, turn off the lights (if you dare), and get ready for some bone-chilling fun.
Scary Jokes That’ll Haunt Your Funny Bone
Why don’t ghosts trust banks?
Their money keeps vanishing.
Why do mummies hate rain?
It makes them soggy.
What’s a witch’s favorite subject?
Spell-ing class.
What’s a skeleton’s favorite snack?
Crunchy bones.
Why do ghosts hang out in old houses?
They love the creepy vibes.
Why don’t mummies tell secrets?
They’re all wrapped up.
What do zombies eat for breakfast?
Brain flakes.
Why do vampires avoid mirrors?
They don’t want to see their pale faces.
Why do ghouls love foggy nights?
It’s perfect for sneaking around.
What do you call a scared werewolf?
A furry fraidy-cat.
What’s a monster’s favorite game?
Hide and shriek.
Why do skeletons stay so calm?
Nothing gets under their skin.
What do zombies write in their diaries?
Dead-icated thoughts.
What’s a vampire’s worst fear?
A sunny day.
Why do witches fly on brooms?
It’s faster than walking.
What do ghosts do at midnight?
They start their haunt shift.
Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
They don’t have the guts.
What’s a ghoul’s favorite drink?
Iced scream.
Why do zombies love slow walks?
They’re not in a rush to decay.
What do mummies do on weekends?
They unwind their bandages.
Why don’t vampires use phones?
They prefer face-to-face bites.
What’s a witch’s favorite pet?
A black cat with attitude.
Why do ghosts hate lies?
They see right through them.
What do skeletons do at parties?
They rattle their bones.
Why are zombies bad at jokes?
Their punchlines fall flat.
Horror Jokes That Are Terrifyingly Good
Why don’t mummies go on vacation?
They’d get too unraveled.
What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert?
Boo-berry pie.
Why do vampires hate garlic?
It’s a real breath-killer.
What do skeletons use to text?
Their bony fingers.
Why do witches love bargains?
They’re spell-binding deals.
What’s a zombie’s favorite exercise?
The dead lift.
Why don’t ghosts play chess?
They’d eat the pieces.
What do mummies wear to bed?
Their coziest bandages.
Why do vampires love night?
It’s their time to shine.
What’s a skeleton’s job?
He’s a bone-ified worker.
Why don’t zombies dream?
Their brains are too mushy.
What do witches put in their soup?
Eye of newt and a pinch of magic.
Why do ghosts avoid crowds?
They don’t like being walked through.
What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit?
A blood orange.
Why don’t mummies use maps?
They prefer to wander.
What do zombies do at the gym?
They work on their groans.
Why do skeletons hate winter?
It’s too chilling for their bones.
What’s a ghost’s favorite room?
The living room, ironically.
Why don’t witches trust strangers?
They might break their spells.
What do vampires do for fun?
They go to the blood bank.
Why are zombies so forgetful?
Their minds are rotting away.
What’s a mummy’s favorite hobby?
Collecting dusty treasures.
Why do ghosts love old clocks?
They tick with eerie charm.
What do skeletons keep in their closets?
Spare ribs.
Why don’t vampires play sports?
They’d bite the competition.
What’s a witch’s favorite tool?
Her trusty cauldron.
Why do zombies hate fast food?
It’s not brainy enough.
Scary Jokes for Fearless Grown-ups
Why do ghosts hate new houses?
They’re too clean and boring.
What’s a vampire’s least favorite meal?
A stake through the heart.
Why don’t mummies join clubs?
They’re too wrapped up in themselves.
What do zombies do at meetings?
They brainstorm, literally.
Why do witches avoid technology?
It messes with their magic.
What’s a skeleton’s favorite drink?
Milk, for strong bones.
Why don’t vampires trust doctors?
They always check their pulse.
What do ghosts do for work?
They haunt for a living.
Why are mummies bad at lying?
You can see right through their wraps.
What’s a zombie’s favorite book?
The Walking Bread.
Why do witches love storms?
The lightning fuels their spells.
What do skeletons do on vacation?
They go to the bone-yard.
Why don’t vampires use social media?
They hate being tagged in photos.
What’s a ghost’s favorite hobby?
Floating through walls.
Why do zombies avoid spicy food?
It burns their rotting tongues.
What do mummies do for exercise?
They stretch their bandages.
Why don’t witches wear hats?
They prefer messy hair.
What’s a vampire’s favorite weather?
Cloudy with a chance of gloom.
Why do skeletons love quiet places?
They can hear their own rattles.
What do ghosts do when angry?
They throw a boo-fit.
Why don’t zombies play games?
They’d eat the board.
What’s a mummy’s favorite song?
Wrap it up, I’ll take it.
Why do vampires hate mornings?
The sun’s too bright.
What do witches do at night?
They brew up trouble.
Why don’t skeletons get lost?
They follow their bones.
What’s a zombie’s favorite place?
The graveyard, it’s homey.
Tell Me a Scary Joke (If You Dare!)
Why do ghosts love attics?
They’re full of dusty secrets.
What’s a vampire’s favorite snack?
A red gummy worm.
Why don’t mummies use email?
They prefer ancient scrolls.
What do zombies do on weekends?
They shamble around town.
Why do witches hate bright lights?
It ruins their spooky vibe.
What’s a skeleton’s favorite toy?
A rattling xylophone.
Why don’t vampires go to school?
They’d sleep through class.
What do ghosts do for fun?
They scare their neighbors.
Why are mummies so stiff?
They’re wrapped too tight.
What’s a zombie’s favorite dance?
The stumble shuffle.
Why do witches love the moon?
It’s their nightlight.
What do skeletons do at night?
They clatter in their coffins.
Why don’t vampires eat candy?
It’s too sweet for their taste.
What’s a ghost’s favorite color?
Boo-tiful white.
Why do zombies hate running?
Their legs fall off.
What do mummies do at parties?
They hang out in corners.
Why don’t witches use umbrellas?
They love getting wet.
What’s a vampire’s favorite animal?
A bat, obviously.
Why do skeletons avoid water?
It makes them soggy.
What do ghosts do when bored?
They haunt random places.
Why don’t zombies use GPS?
They like getting lost.
What’s a mummy’s favorite food?
Dry toast.
Why do vampires love caves?
They’re dark and cozy.
What do witches do for laughs?
They cackle at their own spells.
Why don’t skeletons tell secrets?
They’d spill their bones.
What’s a zombie’s favorite toy?
A squeaky skull.
Why do ghosts hate doors?
They prefer floating through walls.
What’s a vampire’s worst nightmare?
A garlic pizza.
Scary Knock Knock Jokes That’ll Creep You Out
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Skull.
Skull who?
Skull you let me in?
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Witch.
Witch who?
Witch way to the candy?
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Zombie.
Zombie who?
Zombie-body home?
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Vamp.
Vamp who?
Vamp-ire to scare you!
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Mummy.
Mummy who?
Mummy gonna spook you!
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Don’t cry, I’m just a ghost.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Ghoul.
Ghoul who?
Ghoul you open the door?
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Bone.
Bone who?
Bone to be wild!
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Ghost.
Ghost who?
Ghost away, I’m scary!
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Bat.
Bat who?
Bat you didn’t expect me!
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Coffin.
Coffin who?
Coffin up some scares!
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Shade.
Shade who?
Shade you let me haunt?
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Tomb.
Tomb who?
Tomb much for you?
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Howl.
Howl who?
Howl you like a scare?
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Creep.
Creep who?
Creep it real, open up!
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Fog.
Fog who?
Fog-et about being brave!
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Banshee.
Banshee who?
Banshee you later!
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Raven.
Raven who?
Raven mad for scares!
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Crypt.
Crypt who?
Crypt up on you!
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Web.
Web who?
Web you scared yet?
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Mist.
Mist who?
Mist me? I’m spooky!
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Gloom.
Gloom who?
Gloom and doom, that’s me!
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Fright.
Fright who?
Fright you to open!
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Chill.
Chill who?
Chill out, it’s just me!
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Specter.
Specter who?
Specter me to scare you!
Bone-Chilling Scary Jokes to Spook Your Friends
Why do ghosts love basements?
They’re dark and damp.
What’s a vampire’s favorite game?
Bite and seek.
Why don’t mummies talk much?
They’re too shy to unwrap.
What do zombies do for art?
They draw with deCAF.
Why do witches love shadows?
They’re perfect for lurking.
What’s a skeleton’s favorite tool?
A bone saw.
Why don’t vampires use flashlights?
They glow in the dark.
What do ghosts do on holidays?
They visit their old haunts.
Why are mummies so slow?
Their wraps hold them back.
What’s a zombie’s favorite smell?
Freshly dug dirt.
Why do witches avoid crowds?
Too many people break their focus.
What do skeletons do for laughs?
They tickle their funny bone.
Why don’t vampires like rain?
It washes off their gloom.
What’s a ghost’s favorite snack?
Popped corn, extra light.
Why do zombies love quiet?
It’s easier to hear footsteps.
What do mummies do for fun?
They explore old ruins.
Why don’t witches use clocks?
The moon tells them time.
What’s a vampire’s favorite place?
A dark, quiet crypt.
Why do skeletons hate noise?
It shakes their bones.
What do ghosts do when sad?
They moan to feel better.
Why don’t zombies use forks?
They prefer their hands.
What’s a mummy’s favorite drink?
Dust tea.
Why do vampires avoid crowds?
Too many heartbeats.
What do witches do for work?
They brew potions for hire.
Why don’t skeletons play pranks?
They’re too bare-bones.
What’s a zombie’s favorite season?
Fall, when everything decays.
Why do ghosts love fog?
It hides their glow.
What’s a vampire’s favorite trick?
Disappearing at dawn.
Conclusion
Scary jokes are a great way to bring laughter and a little fright at the same time. If you’re telling them at a Halloween party or just trying to spook a friend, they always bring a fun reaction. Some will make you groan, some will make you laugh, and a few might even make you look over your shoulder. Keep these jokes handy the next time you need a good scare or a good giggle.
